My last picture and some other stuff made me think about the body shape topic.. again
..and I wanna take the opportunity to write something down that is on my mind for a while and that I actually just really really understood yesterday..
Since I can remeber, I was chubby and it bothered me to death..
I'm not even really fat, actually I just have a few pounds too much.. but it still governed my life a lot..
I was never bullied or anything, but I always felt like everyone was talking about me, staring and laughing at me. Today I think I was just paranoid, but that didn't really helped me back then..
I was that unconfident, that I worn long shirts and pants for many summers, so people won't see my naked arms and legs.
I loved swimming, but I didn't for over a year now because I'm afraid of the glances..
I don't wanna meat new people or online friends, because I think they will be shocked or disgusted by my look..
I hate it if people touch me since it always reminds me of how uncomfortable I feel in my body.
I could go on and on with this list for a long time..
But anyways.. yesterday, someone told me that he doesn't like fat people, because of some reasons.. afterwards he said that he wasn't serious, but it still kinda opend my eyes.
For the first time in my life, I wasn't ashamed by those words.. I was just fucking pissed off..
So here is the first message of this journal, addressed to all the people which bully, laugh and point a finger at people with 'abnormal' body shapes..
FUCK - YOU!
Such a behavior is way more disgusting than the people you look down at..
What do you think why they look like they look? Because they are super duper glad and have a great life?
Your actions hurt people and make everything worse.
So many people say 'It's their own fault'.. it's not!!
Not everyone is such a bigmouth, some people just swallow their problems.. verbatim!
That doesn't mean they are weak, disgusting or whatever.. help and accept them instead of preclude them.. or at least pipe the fuck down!!
Who do you think you are, judging about other people you don't even know?
If you have a problem with special body types, that's YOUR fucking problem, not theirs. Get a life or at least some brain..
Second message is for the people which have the same problems like I have/had.
I think there are many many people out there, which are not happy with their look, probably mainly girls..
It's easier to say than to do, but seriously.. just don't give a shit about them!
If you're not happy with your body, that's okay. I think it's important to accept this fact, since if you do, you can start to find a way to change, or accept it.
There is nothing wrong about it, as long as YOU think so..
But if you start to feel bad and avoid things you like because of OTHERS.. it's not.
It's your body and your life!
If you have a few pounds too much.. whatever! If it bothers you, change it, but don't just hide or be frustrated by other peoples comments.
I know it's not easy, especially the 'change it' part.. so if you can't make it alone, ask for help, even if you're afraid of it. There are people outside which understand you and your problems.
And the people which doesn't or even make it worse.. what makes them so important that you change your life for them?
Stop stress yourself, it just hinders you to be who you wanna be and it makes the change even harder.
It was really hard for me to write everything down, I actually never talked about all that stuff..
(soul striptease, woot.. .__.')
So I hope this journal helps some people, and if it's just that they know that they are not alone..
At the end I wanna feater a great artist which I really like, since his/her pictures helped me alot while some hard times and cut right to the chase of matter..
This drawings shows that there is not 'the perfect body'.. every body is beautiful in their own way and we should all learn to open our eyes for them..
..and I wanna take the opportunity to write something down that is on my mind for a while and that I actually just really really understood yesterday..
Since I can remeber, I was chubby and it bothered me to death..
I'm not even really fat, actually I just have a few pounds too much.. but it still governed my life a lot..
I was never bullied or anything, but I always felt like everyone was talking about me, staring and laughing at me. Today I think I was just paranoid, but that didn't really helped me back then..
I was that unconfident, that I worn long shirts and pants for many summers, so people won't see my naked arms and legs.
I loved swimming, but I didn't for over a year now because I'm afraid of the glances..
I don't wanna meat new people or online friends, because I think they will be shocked or disgusted by my look..
I hate it if people touch me since it always reminds me of how uncomfortable I feel in my body.
I could go on and on with this list for a long time..
But anyways.. yesterday, someone told me that he doesn't like fat people, because of some reasons.. afterwards he said that he wasn't serious, but it still kinda opend my eyes.
For the first time in my life, I wasn't ashamed by those words.. I was just fucking pissed off..
So here is the first message of this journal, addressed to all the people which bully, laugh and point a finger at people with 'abnormal' body shapes..
FUCK - YOU!
Such a behavior is way more disgusting than the people you look down at..
What do you think why they look like they look? Because they are super duper glad and have a great life?
Your actions hurt people and make everything worse.
So many people say 'It's their own fault'.. it's not!!
Not everyone is such a bigmouth, some people just swallow their problems.. verbatim!
That doesn't mean they are weak, disgusting or whatever.. help and accept them instead of preclude them.. or at least pipe the fuck down!!
Who do you think you are, judging about other people you don't even know?
If you have a problem with special body types, that's YOUR fucking problem, not theirs. Get a life or at least some brain..
Second message is for the people which have the same problems like I have/had.
I think there are many many people out there, which are not happy with their look, probably mainly girls..
It's easier to say than to do, but seriously.. just don't give a shit about them!
If you're not happy with your body, that's okay. I think it's important to accept this fact, since if you do, you can start to find a way to change, or accept it.
There is nothing wrong about it, as long as YOU think so..
But if you start to feel bad and avoid things you like because of OTHERS.. it's not.
It's your body and your life!
If you have a few pounds too much.. whatever! If it bothers you, change it, but don't just hide or be frustrated by other peoples comments.
I know it's not easy, especially the 'change it' part.. so if you can't make it alone, ask for help, even if you're afraid of it. There are people outside which understand you and your problems.
And the people which doesn't or even make it worse.. what makes them so important that you change your life for them?
Stop stress yourself, it just hinders you to be who you wanna be and it makes the change even harder.
It was really hard for me to write everything down, I actually never talked about all that stuff..
(soul striptease, woot.. .__.')
So I hope this journal helps some people, and if it's just that they know that they are not alone..
At the end I wanna feater a great artist which I really like, since his/her pictures helped me alot while some hard times and cut right to the chase of matter..
This drawings shows that there is not 'the perfect body'.. every body is beautiful in their own way and we should all learn to open our eyes for them..
